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SearchingLooking...
  Reaching...
     Searching...

For something;
  some one

To find me
 To pull me
   From this void

To bring me back
 Make me feel

Some one
 Some one to
   Throw away the blade

Dry the tears

Heal the scars

Looking...
  Reaching...
     Searching...

For some one
 To care
Windows of the soulSee through the windows of
   Her soul.
Her eyes.
   See the pain she hides
Behind her smiles.
   See the tears she cries
Through her veil
   Of many lies.
DarknessBlood runs cold
  Tears flow wet
Darkness rises up
  Meeting you on your way
Begging to be embraced
  Begging for the chance to spread
Looking for light
  To destroy
Gaining strength
  With every pint spilled
Red flows down
  Her arms
Darkness captures her soul
Break MeI should know
Every time you talk
Speak about her
It only ends
With my tears
Only you
Among all
Can break me
The strong one

So I sit here
Alone
 Crying
   Cold
Longing for you

I would kill
For just once
Tell me I'm
Beautiful
Say you
Love me
Even as a friend
I'd settle for that

Til then
My tears shall
  Flow
And I shall
  Fight for you
I'll cry because
I wont tell
You

I love you...
I love you so much
I'm past jealousy

You got me
To lay down
The blade
I won't do it
Again

But every word
About her
Makes it so hard
Just to keep
My promise
Please, just
Please...

I love you... <3
Give me a reasonGive me a reason
A reason to live
Show me a way
A way to tame this animal

Convince me to stay
Don't throw me away
Remember Im here
Please hold me dear

With every passing day
I miss you more
With every passing day
I loose feeling in my core

Through you I now know
I know what it is to be real
Now I understand my pain and sorrow
Now I can try to feel

Time and time again
You show me who i am
Push away society
Be true to that which is me

You twisted and turned me
Corrupted all that i know
Turned me once more
Before you let me go

Now in two places
On the same day
Cross the distance of 7hrs
But always in my heart you shall
Because of YouIm staying
Strong
Im staying
Brave

I cant give
Up
I cant give
In

The temptation wont
Win
I can not
Falter

Times are
Hard
Times are
Tough

But I will
Win
But not for
Me

I will win for
You
Because I need a
Reason

A reason to
Fight
So I wont
Lose

Because of you
I will win
Because of you
Temptation will lose

  Because of you....

              I wont lose.

                     I'll hold strong.

                                Because of you.
Im aloneNot you
Its not you
I dont think so
What I miss
What hurts
What leaves me
In tears
Its me knowing
The knowledge
That I have no one
Im alone
And losing
My hope
Ive never felt
This alone
Lost
Hurt
Or. . .
Confused...
One Last TimeOne last time I see your face
One last time I hear your voice
Never to cry over you again
  I know what I will do
     One Last Time

One last time i grab my pen
One last time i perfect my letter
Never to write my poems of agony again
   I know what i will do
       One Last Time

One last time I grab my knife
One last time I swallow the pills
Never to see this place again
   I know what I did
         That

       One
          Last
              Time...
HowHow can you look
Straight into my eyes
My soul
And tell me
I'm ok?

How can you see
That dark, mesmerizing
Pain
That lies within
And not see I'm dead inside?

how can you look at me
How can you say
Everything's alright
When really,
Im just an empty shell
Roses are RedRoses are red
Violets are blue
This is for me
And thats for you

A life of lies
The tears I hide
The smile a lie
Why cant you see inside?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That was for me
And this is for you

A smile, a lie
A laugh, a cry
All I see is who you are
To me a friend, lost in his tears

Friends together
So close at heart
Never to end
No lies between two
To the Naked EyeInvisible to all who look,
insignificant to all who care,
never given a second glance,
im right in front of you raw and bare

im hurt im screaming,
im dying on a silver platter
im on fire, im frozen,
but its not like it matters,

Im blue, im orange,
im purple, im pink,
im spotted, and dotted,
and striped and i think:

if tomorrow i died
by a knife in my own hand,
would you see me then,
because now i dont think you can?
Last DanceYou don't dance
Like this
'Cause you had it
Easy

I pour my heart,
My soul
Into every step,
Every movement

An escape from reality
The lights and costumes
The beauty, the grace
Brings me away, if only for a minute

The rush as it returns
The dance ends, senses begin
The applause, the cheer, the racing of my heart
But worst, the pain and agony of reality

Costumes of glitter and sequins
Flow and twist
Shimmer and shine
All remainder of the dance

Make up is washed
Medals stored away
Clothing hung
Shutting up the last of the dance

Remember the lights, the music
Feel the old adrenaline moving you
Hear the crowd, see their
The DaggerWhy?
    Why did i ever pick it up?
I knew it could only end in pain.
    But i did it
I wish i hadn't
    But i dont regret it.
I asked for help
    A call to a  friend.
You helped.
    Showed me
What i am.
    Thank you.
You said...You said that no one loves you...
You said no one cares if you stay or go, live or die...
You said you have no self confidence...
You said you have nothing going for you...
You said you'll never have a girlfriend...
You said that you only have a few real friends...
You said that you have never broken some one's heart...

BUT THE TRUTH IS...

I do...
People do...
You should...
You have so much...
You will...
You will always have me, never forget...
You have... mine
Everything you never wantedI'm everything you never wanted

Overweight
Glasses
Crooked teeth
Tall
Emo
Depressed
OCD
Sadistic
Masochistic
Sporty
Dancer
Selfish
Uncaring
Creative
Writer

But you know what?
Fuck you.

I'm also

Original
Honest
Photographer
Beautiful in my own way
Graceful
3rd in southern alberta discus
4th in southern alberta javelin
Archer
At peace with me
An amazing wrtier
Luckier than you ever were

Im me. Deal with it mom.

Soon enough,
   You wont have to
 Worry about me anymore.
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 :iconbeautifully-dark: #Beautifully-Dark

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March 2, 2011
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[x]

The Pain

:iconchocolate-wood:

Feel it
  Know it
    Love it
The pain
Coursing
Through your
Veins
Embrace it
Tearing you apart
  Burning
    Cutting
Just smile
Soon
Maybe too soon
You will come to
Fear it
  Know it
    Love it
:iconchocolate-wood:
I dont know..... just kinda came to me. and my jaw was really hurting at the time. i think my jaw pain may have inspired this... that among other pains.
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